This Used To Be My Place

This spot used to be my safe place; I used to come here at least 2-3 times a week. I can remember not all of what was said or thought about during those times, but; I remember every bit of how I felt.

This spot used to be where I escaped to when I was so lost and confused as to what to do in my marriage.

This spot used to be where I spent hours talking with my best friend.

I came here to

To take a break.

To think. To unwind.

To grieve. To laugh. To celebrate. To fight for what I felt was right.

To let go of the anger & pain.

To feel alive.

To feel like me.

To be accepted.

I would come here on days that were unbearable…

To feel heard.

To feel seen.

To feel wanted.

To let myself fall in love.

To feel real.

To be in the moment.

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Now,

It’s nothing more than

Public Car Pool Parking Lot owned by MDOT

It’s foggy.

I haven’t watched the sunrise here in a long time.

But, God do I miss those moments.

It’s jaded.

It’s tainted.

It’s painful.

It’s a reminder. So many thoughts and feelings were felt and said in this spot. Things I felt mattered.

It’s a spot I have to force myself to go to to accept and get over what happened.

It’s a spot I wish sometimes never happened.

It’s a spot I am grateful everyday that it happened.

It’s a spot that is just foggy now.

But that’s ok. Cause right now foggy is better than nothing.