The First Post

Thank you for joining me here.

What you will find here within the walls of this personal blog is a lot of honesty; a lot of grit and a whole lot of grace. The truth is, somedays I have no idea what the hell I am doing. Whether it be as a mother, in my career, in all my relationships, in my journey as a Veteran suffering from PTSD, or life general. I’m so far from perfect and make mistakes daily, but the goal here is to share that lesson, my story, in hopes of saving the next person.

I swore to myself that if my marriage failed, I wouldn’t let it be something that didn’t serve a purpose. But to go deeper into my story, we have to start with what my life currently has been. I wasn’t without my own faults my marriage failed as I didn’t love perfectly; what I realized was I just wasn't loving him the way he wanted to be loved perfectly. I unfortunately feel as though I failed at fighting for the marriage as a whole or I wouldn’t be here writing this post. It wasn’t till later while I sat inconsolably crying in my apartment complex parking lot; in all of its unfolding, I realized I am more than capable of being loved. That I am most definitely flawed, but that makes me authentic. That makes me, me.

I’m proud of my scars for they are evidence of passion, wisdom and of strength. They are evidence of a heart that loved and lived so open and raw, being raped, beaten and lied to.

Those scars tell the stories of my healing.

A little about me...

I am a mother to a beautiful three-year-old little boy who is likely the reason for all the detours in life. He was worth them all and he’s nothing short of a miracle. He is my world.

I am a daughter to two wonderful parents who have been married for 37 years and a sister to a younger brother, who I tried my best to be a positive role model for.

I am a Veteran and served in The United States Navy from 2009-2013. I further obtained a Bachelor’s Degree from Ferris State University and begun my career as Probation Officer in 2018.

2020

I was served divorce papers by my husband on the exact date of our 2nd wedding anniversary. We were together for almost seven years and we have a beautiful son. I loved my husband more than I ever loved another man and the life we built together meant everything to me. That man however, is gone and is not the same man I married. What remnants left of who he is, has hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before.

I hope you never have to grieve the loss of someone who is still walking around on this earth; is a different kind of grief. One that you can’t put in words unless you’ve been there yourself.

My hopes in starting this blog is to show the grit it takes to build your life back up again for yourself only and the grace you can ask for when it all becomes too much.

Thank you and enjoy!