Tell your heart to beat again

I listened to this song on repeat during my divorce. I had it on repeat the day the person I felt I was meant for left me with no explanation.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F77v41jbOYs

I have fallen down so many damn times. I’ve had my heart shattered in ways that will likely never mend.

Every. God. Damn. Time. I repeatedly got back up. I’ve stayed consistent with therapy. I’ve attempted to reset, only to have to reset yet again.

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I came home from serving my country and had every intention to make the most of this unpromised life. Today I am moving back home. I’m 32 years old with 2 failed marriages and I’m left with no choice but to move home and restart.

I’m trying to acknowledge the good. The positives and their are many.

But damn, is my pride shattered. I have been mad at God. I’ve trusted in the good, in the “everything happens for a reason” in the soulmate, in the process. It’s never made any sense and I now know it’s not real. This has not been the way I wanted life to be. But for every heartbreaking and damaging thing in my life, I’ve lived. I’ve woke up and changed for the better. I’ve continued to grow and have fallen grateful for the chance to be better.

My parents remind me of this day. My son reminds me of this daily. My therapist reminds me of this. I’ve heard, “I’m proud of you” more in the past three months than I ever heard in the past three years.

So, please, whatever you are going through; grief, heartbreak, trauma, war, physical pain, addiction, the hardship of mental illness, rape, divorce, motherhood/fatherhood, financial strain, the real life shit…you can get through it.

Tell Your Heart To Beat Agaim ❤️