Narcissism

Narcissists will use denial, misrepresentation, lies and contradiction to slowly trap the victim in this distorted reality and to maintain control over them. They do this by making the victim feel 'crazy' the victim is less likely to ask for help, reach out to friends and family for support or, leave the relationship or workplace.

Covert-Narcissist Traits

People with covert-narcissist traits are often described as:

•envious

•anger ridden

•critical

•self-absorbed

•introverted

•passive-aggressive

•competitive

•bitter

•distrustful

•anxious

•paranoid

•hypersensitive

•prone to revel in the misfortune of others

•negativistic

•prone to portraying themselves as victims

•inclined to presenting as if their specialness is not adequately recognized

•dour

•spiteful

•people who criticize them are perceived as jealous

•resentful

•cynical

•prone to insulting others via insinuations and backhanded compliments

•caustic

•sarcastic

•grudge holding

•cutting

•despondent

•cruel

•asserts a disdain for the concept of status hierarchies

What‘s it like when a narcissist can’t control you?

You'll be accused of things you never did.

You'll be accused of things you never said.

If they can't isolate you so they can punish you personally, they'll try to get other people to punish you because of them.

They will degrade, slander, harass, or somehow punish any person who treats you normally.

They'll threaten you with anything or anybody they can possibly come up with, truth is not relevant.

They'll use anything or anybody they can possibly use to put everything in your life under their control.

They'll try to turn every person that has ever known you and every person who associates with you against you.

They'll try or succeed in doing all of these things in ways most people could not imagine.

The less success they have, the harder they try.

The more success they have, the more they escalate.

They become obsessed with either controlling you or destroying you and they do all of these things from the position of the poor victim who is "finally standing up to you" and "protecting" themselves and society in general from you.

The more you run away from them, the more they'll follow.

Lastly,

No normal person wants to VOLUNTARILY hurt another person simply because that person won't VOLUNTARILY give them total control of their life. If you have dealt with a narcissist in a compassionate way, you know they're "hurting", you've seen the "hurt", and the last thing you want to do is "hurt" them more. You cannot take away that "hurt" no matter what you do. You cannot wear that "hurt" for them. You cannot continue to be "hurt" by them just because somebody "hurt" them long before you ever met them. You cannot give them total control of your life just so they can "hurt" you to keep from feeling their own "hurt".

It's one of the saddest and most scary things a person could ever witness.

To know that a person you don't want to "hurt" will do anything to "hurt" you so you can SEE how THEY "feel" and all they want is for you to VOLUNTARILY give them CONTROL of your life so they can "hurt" you to keep their "hurt" from showing.

This is emotional abuse. This is not ok. This is something you do not have to accept.