Communication Is Key

TAKE IT FROM ME; as I have learned the hard way. COMMUNICATION IS KEY.

If I approached old relationship the way I do my previous one things may have ended different. Either way, I’m ok with the outcome because I am extremely happy but I have learned the hard way, far too often.

It's not uncommon to experience an uncomfortable moment in your relationship on occasion. But if it keeps happening, you might start to question the strength of your relationship or if you're doing OK as a couple — and with good reason.

Experts say ongoing feelings of unease are worth looking into. Discomfort in a relationship is often a sign something is missing between you and your partner, whether it's trust, good communication, or respect. It might also be a sign of another underlying problem, entirely.

To identify where this "off" feeling is coming from, Sassoon recommends asking your partner to chat, and assuring them that it's OK to be entirely honest. See if they've been sensing it, too. And from there, talk about ways to improve your relationship, like how you might be able to communicate more clearly — and see if that creates a stronger sense of connection, over time.

There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, and ongoing problems certainly can't be fixed overnight. But if any of the habits listed below sound familiar, especially if they keep cropping up, it's time to check in, reevaluate where you stand as a couple and make a few changes.

1.) Your Partner Doesn't Have Your Back

If your partner constantly sides with everyone else, and never seems to have your back, eventually you'll start to feel "isolated, disrespected, and undervalued.” If it's a one-time thing, fine. But if they always let you down, it may indicate "your partner isn’t prioritizing you in the relationship.

The next time it happens, let them know how you feel. "A caring partner will try to empathize with your feelings," and will "seek to understand their role in contributing to your discomfort, and work towards repair."

2.) They Attack Your Character

Even if it happens in the heat of an argument, it's pretty much never OK to exchange nasty words, or attack each other's character. How each of you handles anger and conflict is an indicator of whether [the relationship] will last. Name-calling and other forms of contempt are highly disrespectful to both you and the relationship

While it's possible to practice communication skills and learn how to argue in a less toxic way; consider leaving the relationship if nothing changes.

3.) They Exclude You

If you and your partner have a strong connection, chances are you'll be spending a lot of time together. They'll naturally want to invite you to events with family, friends, and coworkers, Doares says, and you'll want to do the same.

Of course, it's healthy to soend time apart on occasion. But take note if you're left hanging the majority of the time. Not being given that option is an indicator of how your partner views the relationship.

4.) You Can't Speak Your Mind

A healthy relationship provides the safety necessary to feel comfortable with disclosing vulnerable information to a partner. So if that's not the case, try to make a few changes. Let your partner know up front when you want to disclose something that makes you feel uncomfortable. That way, it'll allow them the opportunity to respond with care, which increases safety in the interaction and makes it easier for you to revisit difficult topics in the future.

If they aren't OK with that, or they make you feel bad about being open or honest, move on.

5.) They Make Decisions For You

Being a couple means making a lot of decisions together, which is why it should never feel as if your partner is calling all the shots, or as if you're being swept along in their life. Or vice versa. "It’s an indication of how the two of you are separate, not a couple”

It’s also disrespectful.

6.) They Dismiss What You Say

Even when you struggle to see eye-to-eye, your partner should still attempt to see your point of view, and not immediately dismiss what you say.

Managing differences is a huge component of healthy relationships. Learning how to do this effectively is the way forward. But unless you're both committed to doing so, the problem will only keep coming back.

7.) They Hold Onto Grudges

It can be tough to let go of hurtful things from the past, but it's necessary to do so if you want a strong relationship. Holding onto a grudge blocks communication and conflict resolution. So, if either of you struggles to move on — and especially if you cling onto the small stuff, he says — your relationship may be in trouble.

8.) You Struggle To Compromise

If it seems like you and your partner are never able to reach a compromise or meet each other halfway when it comes to solving problems, that's yet another red flag.

Holding onto the need to be "right" will only lead to more frequent arguments. It's also a sign you are viewing each other as adversaries, instead of part of a team.

9.) They Don't Apologize

It's important to know how to apologize to each other as well as how to take the temperature of the room, so to speak. In an unhealthy relationship, partners usually have to come to some conflict place in order to get an apology or even awareness of an issue. That is not ok. 10.) Jealousy Takes Over

Jealousy happens, and a touch of it here and there isn't that big of a deal. The anger and distrust that stems from unchecked jealousy will quickly drive your relationship into the ground. So push back against it by creating boundaries, and talking with your partner about how you feel.